PERSONAL PROJECTS

Contenido de mi publicaciónOne of the hardest "wake up" moments I had in life happened in my cultural studies classes. I remember being confronted by the fact that essentially all the media we consume—music, movies, books—are products. And if we start basing our personality on the media we consume, we're walking a slippery slope. Soon, we'd be constructing our identity based on the products we buy at the supermarket, and that would be absurd, don't you think?

Well… that doesn’t feel like such a distant reality anymore. The system currently operating in our collective mind is carefully designed for exactly that: giving us a false sense of identity based on what we consume. And this isn't by chance; it has been heavily studied and applied. A great deal of our current "marketing practices" stem from a field of psychology that gained popularity during the 20th century, labeled as "motivational psychology."

In essence, the biggest finding within this research is that we create our personalities based on three parts of "us": The "id" (our animalistic side, the instincts), the "ego" (your protector, your inner judge, the mediator), and the "superego" (the face we actively craft and wear to "fit in" with society). What this model often leaves out, however, is the fundamental role of our true "self" as a harmonious, holistic whole. When we severely separate these parts of ourselves, ignoring our true self, we become easily programmable.

Just think about how our daily lives operate now. You go on social media and see all these posts of people with ripped bodies that spark lust. Once you stop drooling over the "hot piece of meat" on your screen, you start panicking because you don't have that body. Then the vestigial fear kicks in: "Nobody wants to have sex with me if I don’t have that body." Then you go out and see an ad for a gym saying "join our tribe." You start feeling alone, like you're secluded from the tribe, and you might die if you don’t belong. So, you join the gym because everyone is doing it, and at the end of the day, how can exercise be bad? You start going to the gym and getting results. You've got to show the gains on social media because how else will everybody know you're hitting the gym? You've become the "hot piece of meat" for someone else, and everything is fine until you see that people are taking protein shakes and some even steroids. "Should I go on steroids?"…

And that's just one silly example, but you get the gist of it!

This only works if there's a disconnected wiring of the three parts of your personality. The part that does the "housekeeping," the balancing, is the self. And sadly, the system doesn't reward people who have a strong sense of self; it doesn't work for the operation that's going on.

One of the things life has taught me as a tool to strengthen my sense of self is having a purpose. And actively pursuing a personal creative project is something that has been proven to give you a lot of purpose. It’s not easy! There will be many systemic challenges ahead, but once you start believing in yourself, you've tapped into the power of the "self," and it will thrive through purposeful creativity!

My first time launching a project came from this "creative spark" during a dark time in my life. While I was at university, simultaneously chasing the corporate game, I was severely drained and depressed. I now understand that my ego was wounded by all the criticism I received during high school for not being an "applied student" (aka obediently productive), which had made me start driving my life with the goal of "proving people wrong" by becoming a "high achiever." And where did this mindset take me? Anxiety and depression.

While this was going on, I was taking a design class where I couldn't excel as I wished due to my state. For the final project, we had to create a magazine that tied all our work during the semester with a common theme. I saw this as an opportunity to clarify my narrative to the teacher and let her know that I had been suffering during the class and how that impacted my work. And that is how UnCuadro was born.

I wanted it to feel like I was rewriting my psychiatrist’s report. Each entry would be a "file," and once completed, I would have regained my narrative. I spent weeks working on it, and the physical end result wasn't great… but the substance was there, and I knew it was worth sharing.

I started posting it online, and the response was incredible. That’s how I discovered that the digital version had so much potential. It was an amazing time in my life; what I wrote resonated with a lot of people, and that felt incredible. I was still very much anxious and depressed, and I didn’t have the tools to properly navigate the situation.

I’ve always dreamt of it becoming a big platform and eventually a library of true qualitative information around healing. Something that cold, clinical practices like cognitive behavioral psychology or psychiatry tremendously lack. The world can be cruel to people who take a "fall." One of the biggest forces blocking us from getting back on our feet is that our narratives get corrupted and twisted by gossip and our systemically imposed lack of empathy. I really want to be able to give people the tools and a safe space for them to get empowered and help others through their growth story. That is my purpose with this project.

I’ve had the enormous honor to be able to co-direct projects through this platform with two beings I truly admire: Isabela Herrera (therapist) and Mayo Riofrio (writer). Their input has been incredibly valuable in helping me shape this project and take a beautiful form. For this project to thrive, collaboration is key; anyone reading this is more than welcome to reach out and contribute to UnCuadro.

Projects born through creative collaboration hold a very special place in my heart because they are sparked from a true connection. The core substance for one of these projects was something that has been a great joy in my life: my passion for dance-pop. So, starting a project with a true pop legend was a huge milestone.

While I was working at Forever 21, one of our constant collaborations was with the iconic Gaby Villalba. Every time she came by the office (a back room in the store), we would engage in profound conversations about pop music. These conversations kept happening until one day we both agreed that it should be a podcast. So we took a shot to the stars, joined forces, and started one.

The idea behind our podcast, POPCR, was to give pop music its own place where it could be valued without judgment, without being "too cool" for liking pop. We were both scared of seeing how many great pop acts were being tossed onto the anti-pop-music bandwagon, and we wanted to give the whole genre a proper lifeline.

We had a great run, and I truly enjoyed every second of working with Gaby on this project. I wish I could have followed my joy and continued giving my heart and energy to POPCR. This project taught me a lot. I truly wish I could have had more time to fully dive into it, but I was working, studying, and finishing UnCuadro. I was overwhelmed with stress, and it all eventually became too much to handle, and sadly we had to pull the plug.

This left me at a point in my life where I had learned basic audio production techniques to create a podcast about music. I was already creating in a space designated for music making; the next step I saw for myself was actually making my own music.

So when I saw an opportunity for it, I jumped fully into it. During lockdown, I created GEYTER, a parallel universe for my art. The original plan was to use this time to apply my new skills to create the best music I was able to and use my "media arts" to give it a space to rest. I thought that after two successful projects, expanding into music would feel as breezy.

Making it was one of the best times of my life. I enjoyed the process so much: concepts, production, creating artworks, and release strategies. It all felt incredibly fun; I felt like a kid again. I put so much of myself into the music, fearlessly. So when it was time for release, I thought that others would be able to feel the same through it.

As much as I enjoy making music, I have to say that putting it out to the world is a tough job. Since my first release, I have seen how subjective and severe the gatekeeping is in music circles. It sometimes seemed that as a music maker, you are handed a tight list of things you must comply with to be considered a "serious artist," ranging from "having a viral hit" to "hanging out with the insiders." It all feels very orchestrated and pretentious.

For me, music has been a channel to reconnect with my inner child, and a lot of healing has come from that. As cheesy as it sounds, there have been points in the journey where it has felt like it’s just me and my computer, and that’s really all I’ve needed so far. Creating GEYTER has allowed me to create a sacred space to feel, sort thoughts out, and put myself back together again. It’s a project that has been the reason I’ve gotten out of bed in very lonely times in my life, and that sacredness is something I’m not willing to sacrifice for hype.

“Why don’t you start going to more raves and parties?”, “You make electronic music, why aren’t you a DJ?”, “You should try to become friends with the club kids, maybe they can introduce you to managers”—these are the types of comments I’ve heard through the years as possible ways "in." And the answer is simple: that wouldn’t be me. I prefer to continue making music as an outsider than losing myself in the process of becoming an insider.

As a proud neurodivergent gay man, making electronic dance music has given me a space where I can play and express myself in full spectrum. An attempt to box this freedom to "fit in" in spaces that physically hurt my being would be so counterproductive and condescending to the true healing powers that electronic dance music has shown me. Many have called me a "hater" for this; I just think of myself as someone with a vision.

My vision is of a world where we all wake up and realize this amazing, almost alien technology that we have in front of us, where we break down all the social and mental barriers we have stupidly imposed, and start valuing innovative proposals. In this vision, I see us being able to launch sagas and franchises from our own personal computers through our own efforts, and being true to ourselves in the process. Bringing this vision to life is my purpose with GEYTER. Every time you listen to one of my songs, I want you to know that if you ever dreamt of making music or creating art, the time to start is now. No more fears!

Working through these purposes has opened my eyes and made me never take for granted each act of support I get along the way. By actively practicing gratefulness, I have been able to reconnect with incredible people and even collaborate with them creatively.

I fondly remember releasing the video for my song “Nicotine” and just crossing my fingers and hoping someone would watch. Thank you to all of you who did, and special thanks to my friend Martnbar, who shared it to his story. This act of supportive kindness made us reconnect our friendship, something that felt like a true luxury coming after the isolation of the pandemic.

We started chatting again, and organically we began playing with the idea of collaborating on something. He had recently launched a super cool T-shirt brand, and we thought it would be interesting to create a new collection for it. We met and decided to get the idea flowing.

Months later, we came up with “Fearn’t of Insanity.” A collection that wasn't just "cool T-shirts" but also raised awareness and tried to normalize non-ordinary states of consciousness, and how many geniuses from the past would be labeled as "insane" in our actual world. In other words, it’s okay to be cray cray.

I really hope he knows how seen he made me feel by going out of his way and doing this with me. As someone who naturally lives through non-ordinary states of consciousness, being perceived as "insane" had slowly become a big insecurity, because it’s a label that can be easily weaponized by the system. This became a big step in my recovery with the social world, and we even formed an amazing group of friends pa ir a la puma o a la primax. My friend Martnbar, thank you for this, te quiero!

You can see how my creative personal projects have given me experiences that make life worth living, more than being trapped in an office. There are so many amazing creators and innovative proposals out in this world; we cannot afford to lose. Especially on the brink of what some thinkers now call "Technofeudalism," and sadly, it has nothing to do with dancing to 140 bpm. It is a future in which big tech companies have fully monopolized the way we consume, especially media. Instead of kings, we "the pawns" will serve CEOs. But there is a chance to fight this: we tame the future in the present moment. It’s time to create with purpose!

That is why, during the summer of 2023, with the incredible help of Georgina, Guillerme, Chan Li, and Nicole Su, we brought RESTLESS to life. A platform dedicated to leverage and support young blooming creators with wisdom from others who might be one step ahead. During our time together, we drafted a solid plan for a start-up that would not only allow us to access knowledge to path your own way, but even to monetize your input while creating a community.

If you scroll down my reels, you can see some prototypes of what to expect from the platform. It is a work in progress, but I am restlessly working on it. It’s imprinted in everything I do. I cannot leave this world without this being built; giving humanity creative independence is my drive and purpose. It’s what brought me to this earth. I am not here to be trapped in a loop of obedient productivity just to comply with society, and once you wake up, you will realize that neither are you. It’s time to act, creative minds unite!

Keep it flowing, keep it RESTLESS.

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